


Nightmares

by PeterHaleforAlpha



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Post-Star Trek Beyond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-07
Updated: 2016-09-07
Packaged: 2018-08-13 18:35:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7981885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeterHaleforAlpha/pseuds/PeterHaleforAlpha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little aftermath scene of Kirk and Bones, drinking together, sharing thoughts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nightmares

McCoy barely noticed how someone slid into the stool right next to him. He had his drink. That was all he needed. The alcohol dulled his constantly worried mind. He could forget and just ease his pain. In peace and quiet. With no one bothering him. At least this had been his plan.  
  
“Still awake?” Jim’s voice sounded into his ear. “It’s quite late, don’t you think, Bones?”   
“I don’t think this is any of your business,” McCoy grunted passively.   
“It is if you are drinking without me.” He noticed a motion of Jim’s hand to the barkeeper.   
  
McCoy sighed heavily. “I really don’t want to talk, Jim.” He wanted to stare into his glass of scotch until he couldn’t think straight anymore. This was his plan and he would stick to it, even with Jim next to him.   
  
“Who said something about talking? I just came here to drink.” Jim grinned widely and bumped against McCoy’s shoulder.   
McCoy grumbled something imcomprehensible before emptying his glass with a big gulp. “Another one, please,” he ordered.   
  
It took less than three minutes before Jim started talking again. “What is this about?”   
“It’s about me having three days left of my shore leave and I’m having a good time. I didn’t know fun times were against the rules.”   
  
“I’m always in for fun times, you know that, Bones,” Jim grinned widely before getting serious again. “I saw you here every night for the last few days.”  
“So?”   
“So? I’m not blind. Something is troubling you.”   
  
McCoy chuckled, deep and low. “I think after everything that had happened it would be a damn miracle if we were all completely fine. You shouldn’t be fine, Jim.”   
“I’m not,” Jim whispered. He sounded broken and vulnerable and McCoy immediately regretted his accusation. Of course Jim wasn’t fine. He was the captain. He lost his ship, he lost a huge part of his crew. “Every night I dream about the attack.”   
  
McCoy was no different. Every night he went back to this cave, with an injured Spock right next to him. Sometimes it turned out worse than it actually had been. The fear of almost losing a close friend still stuck in his bones. And then the nights he was saved from these images he saw Jim get sucked into nothingness, before Spock and McCoy could get to him. Just a few inches out of their reach. “Scotch helps,” McCoy said and held his glass up for a toast. “Sometimes the nightmares stay away then.”   
  
Jim tapped his glass against McCoy’s but didn’t look convinced at all. The smile from just a few minutes ago had completely vanished, leaving a hurt and tired expression on Jim’s face. “It’s not only the nights. In every quiet minute of the day I’m thinking about other scenarios. Things I could have done differently. Maybe some other choices and it wouldn’t have been so bad. It’s like a nightmare I can’t wake up from.”  
  
“Jim?” McCoy waited until Jim actually looked at him. “You did everything right. The attack came fast and sudden. It was a trap. You couldn’t have done more. You saved a lot of people. You did everything to find them on this planet, every living member of your crew. You brought us home.”  
  
“Still, sometimes I think it wasn’t enough.”   
McCoy sighed and shook his head. Only Jim could be so blind to his own heroics. “It was. You saved Spock. And you saved your crew. You saved all the people here in Yorktown. _It is enough_ , Jim. You can’t do more than be willing to sacrifice your own life.”   
  
Jim actually smiled at that a little and McCoy counted that as a win. “You and Spock were there to catch me though.”   
“Yeah, well, I couldn’t stand the thought of Spock being captain. He is already annoying enough as a first officer.”  
Jim chuckled at that. Another win.  
  
“And to be honest, I had no fucking clue how to land this alien ship, so I happened to be still in the air.”   
“You managed in the end.” Jim fully smiled now and patted McCoy on his shoulder.  
“Oh, yes, with a lot of yelling and shouting from both you and Spock.”   
Jim raised his glass. “You are a terrible pilot, Bones.”   
“Maybe you noticed I’m a doctor, not a fucking pilot, Jim,” McCoy grumbled with a smile on his face and clapped their glasses together.   
Jim leaned closer. “What would I do without you?”   
“Probably die a slow and excruciating death.”


End file.
